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watchmanwakes

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Few know that John Macarthur has played a large role in affecting (and many would say adversely affecting) the development of more than a million children in nearly 100 nations around the world.  How is this possible? 

From about the mid-1980's to the mid-1990's Gary Ezzo, under the blessing and auspices of Grace Community Church, developed and first taught his controversial baby parenting program that is today Growing Families International (GFI).

"Gary Ezzo held the position of "Pastor, Family Ministries" at Grace Community Church from early-1985 until mid-1993, and taught the "young families and single parents" Sunday School class ("Joint Heirs"). (Ezzo also heads up "Growing Families International," a Chatsworth, California-based firm, founded by Ezzo in 1989, that distributes the materials of Gary and his wife, Anne Marie Ezzo.) Despite no longer being on the Grace Church staff, Ezzo remained a "lay elder" at Grace Church until July of 1995, and as of November of 1995, the church was still teaching his materials in church classes and selling his materials in its bookstore (11/19/95, Grace Today). In June of 1996, the Ezzos resigned their membership at Grace Church." (John Macarthur-Teachings/Acitivities)

According to an article about Growing Families International published on the Christian Research Institute Website and under the subtitle: The Rise of the Ezzo Empire:

"Many who are familiar with the popularity and controversy associated with GFI have wondered how the Ezzos’ parenting ministry could have grown so rapidly. In just over 10 years, GFI has expanded into 93 countries, reaching more than a million followers. Seventy thousand parents attend GFI classes at local churches every week (12). The Journal noted that this growth was possible partly through the Ezzos’ connections with John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church, where Gary Ezzo was once Pastor of Family Ministry, and with its radio and tape ministry, Grace to You (GTY). This was not, as GFI protests, a “charge” against the Ezzos in any way, but simply a much-needed explanation for GFI’s exponential and worldwide growth."

According to John Macarthur-Grace Community Church written on a pro-Ezzo website:

"
It is curious that MacArthur now criticizes the Ezzos' teaching even though it is the same core curricula that MacArthur supported for eight years at Grace, and that Grace continued to teach for a year after the Ezzos left the church."

Some parents who used the Ezzo method have grown children that now suffer from personality disorders. Such children are unable to form healthy attachments and are basically dysfunctional all their lives. These parents called Ezzo a psychopath.  The comments below are from Dangers of Ezzo/Babywise:

"We read the Ezzo books and listened to the tapes when both of our daughters were born. They are now 14 and 18 and both have attachment disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, and one also has severe depression. This does not run in our family. I am 100% sure that it was caused by following the Ezzo 20-minute rule that says it’s okay to let your baby cry for 20 minutes or longer to teach them not to manipulate the caregivers. This is a sure way to cause an attachment disorder and make sure your baby has extreme anxiety and fears of abandonment when they get older.

"Gary Ezzo is a psychopath who lives to infect others with his own attachment disorder. He lives in a home on the ocean, laughing at all the duped God-loving people who followed his evil parenting methods. Meanwhile, our lives are destroyed to watch our precious daughters try to cope with not being able to attach to people.

"Someone needs to start a class action lawsuit against this evil man and stop him from doing any more harm to babies. His evil, destructive books are still in the hands of naive, gullible parents who desperately want to raise their kids “God’s way”. Unfortunately, this “godly man” is nothing more than a devil disguised as an angel of light."

Jason on June 2, 2013 at 7:43 pm

My 18-year-old daughter has attachment disorder and panic disorder from using the Ezzo parenting methods. The most extremely damaging process was the 20-minute rule. You were supposed to wait 20 minutes to see if your baby would stop crying on its own before you went to check on it,

I can’t believe how brainwashed I was by authoritarian religion back then to have followed this program. Ezzo is obviously a psychopath who has no empathy or conscience. His training methods are sure to turn out attachment-disordered people just like himself.

My life is a nightmare because of Gary Ezzo. And he lives in a house on the ocean in serenity, far away from the mass-anguish of parents and family members that he has inflicted on countless souls.
-----------------

Many professionals have stated that the Ezzo baby rearing method causes emotional, behavioral, and even physical harm to the child.  According to How Ezzo's Child-Rearing Philosophy Impacts Psychosocial and Physical Development:

"If there are indeed a million children being raised with the Ezzo rigidity, then therapists, pastors and physicians should be ready to deal with the myriad of psychological issues that will be presenting over the next century. They will see everything from anti-social behavior to a person who cannot trust God because they never came to trust their parents."

Despite later kicking Ezzo out of their church, I believe John Macarthur and the Grace Community Church elder board were fully aware of and approved the unscriptural teachings of the Ezzos during the many years they taught parenting courses. Yet they supported the program financially and doctrinally so Ezzo could launch Growing Families International globally.

An observation from an email I once received regarding Ezzo's parenting program at Grace Church:


"Teaching parents to abuse their own children in the name of Christ... what a brilliant way to create total mind control slaves for Lucifer's slave empire."







bjw

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This makes perfect sense in light of the Nouthetic counseling doctrines. These disorders are said to be caused by sin and not a brain problem. So, when a person has a mental breakdown you ignore them until they "snap out of it," since they are using sin to try to get their own way. Apparently they apply it to babies too. This actually comes from a Scientology doctrine called "Introspection Rundown." If you google it you'll see what I mean. Many anti-scientology websites tie this doctrine to the death of a woman named Lisa Macpherson, who had a psychotic break.
bjw

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I wanted to add some more to this, as I think I learned a little more after reading the links you put in the op. First of all, I think there must be more to this than what we are being told. For starters, some things GCC accuse Ezzo of they are guilty of themselves. While I understand that not all of Ezzo's parenting materials are Bible based and contain outside influences like psychology, MacArthur's practices are guilty of this as well. For instance, Nouthetic Counseling is based on Scientology, psychology, revisionism, abberation therapy, among other things.

One thing I noticed was GCC's online response claims an elitism was building between those who followed Ezzo at GCC and those who didn't, even among the children. I could easily see Macarthur seeing this as a threat, since there's only room for one counseling cult in Sun Valley.

I also read through some of the Ezzo material samples on his site. They seem to take the personal relationship between parents and children away and make it a robotic "one size fits all" regimen. I can see how so many have been hurt by it. I'm willing to bet GCC accepted it at first because they liked the mind control that fit nicely with the nouthetic counseling, until it became more popular than MacArthur's garbage.

Incidentally, I remember them being very pro corporal punishment when I was there, as they mentioned it whenever child rearing was talked about, I don't know if that was influenced at all by Ezzo's departure though.
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Gary Ezzo wrote a series of parenting books titled On Becoming Babywise and he and his wife also lead birth to college parenting seminars based on the books. From the outset, Ezzo's harsh authoritarian methods create an adversarial relationship between parents and their baby by advising parents not to feed a newborn "on demand" lest they allow the child to manipulate them with their cries. Ezzo recommends letting the baby "cry it out" for long periods if necessary to teach them to "self-soothe" instead of "demanding" that the parents hold or feed them. Ezzo's method is precisely the opposite of how to raise a happy, well-adjusted child who loves and trusts his parents and grows up to to love and have faith in God.       

Although Babywise claims to be a conservative Biblical method of parenting children, what the Ezzos are really doing is stealthily promoting the philosophy and agenda of radical feminism. This is evident in the principles they teach and the sources they quote throughout the Babywise books.  If Christian parents would research the endnotes of the Babywise books, they would find that Ezzo does not quote Christian sources or even neutral sources, but books written by radical liberals who actively promote the agenda of feminists and gay rights activists.
 
The feminist view of infant care is that women need fulfillment outside the home and that caring for children full time prevents them from being fulfilled. To justify the liberation of women from the constraints of child care, which feminists term “baby bondage,” and to relieve them of “mother guilt” for neglecting their babies, feminists debunk the necessity of mother-infant bonding for a child’s wellbeing and relegate it to the status of a “myth” and a “fiction.” 

Like the liberal feminists, the Ezzo ridicules “attachment parenting”— the traditional belief that babies must bond with their mothers early in life to develop normally.  Ezzo's section “Bonding with Your Baby” is based on two radically liberal feminist sources. The first is an article by psychologist, Michael E. Lamb, a member of the ACLU and NOW (among other liberal and Communist organizations), who proactively promotes gay rights and same sex marriage. The second source cited by Ezzo as an authority on parenting is Diane E. Eyer, a New Age Healer, Reike Master and radical feminist.   

The outcome of this philosophy is emotionally crippled adults who are unable to have healthy relationships.  Many parents who have reaped the evil fruit of Babywise express profound grief that their older children have serious disorders: attachment disorder, autism, anxiety disorder, depression, panic attacks, among other dysfunctional lifelong conditions.

The Babywise deception is subtle, because Ezzo frequently assures his readers that his method, which is detachment parenting, is God’s Way, that attachment parenting is the world’s way, and they distort the Word of God to make the liberal agenda of detachment parenting sound Biblical. Tragically, many well-intentioned Christian parents who follow the Babywise program are unwittingly bringing up their children according to the wisdom of this world instead of the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

disciple

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Thanks for all the postings here. I didn't know the Babywise was a deception and caused so many damages to young lives until now! When I had my baby I heard/read about the 20-minute rule, but I was never able to apply it: as soon as my baby cried, I rushed to her... they also say the baby should sleep by itself, I bought a brand new beautiful baby bed for her, but she only slept in it for 15 minutes, that was all... I couldn't sleep without her at my side... so she slept with me and my husband until she completely outgrew her beautiful baby bed! She is now 17, a wonderful girl fearing God and never brings us any trouble, she is truly a blessing from the LORD!
Heartbroken Dad

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Do you know what it's like to want to hug your daughter, but she recoils
like it is painful if you attempt it?

Do you know what it is like to have never been able to comfort your daughter
when she is having a panic attack?

Do you know what it is like to know that you caused your daughter to never
be able to be comforted because you deprived her of comfort as a baby when
she cried?

Do you know what it is like to deal with a 20-year-old daughter who is so
unable to comfort herself that she has to sleep with the lights on with the
dog in her bed?

Do you know what it is like to have a daughter that you love very deeply be
unable to reciprocate that love?

Do you know what it is like to live with a daughter who got stuck
emotionally at the age of two when it comes to dealing with even the
slightest stresses?

I do, and I live through these nightmares day after day due to the Ezzo
Parenting program.

She gets so filled with fear and panic and unable to comfort herself that
she goes into panic attacks and grand mal seizures.

It is so unbearable. I wish I could just hug her and teach her how to
receive comfort, but it's too late. I cannot turn back time. The time for
that brain development process was during the window of 0-36 months.
The Ezzo's 20-minute-rule deprived her of learning how to do it.

Reactive Attachment Disordered kids become adults with Borderline
Personality Disorder.

This punishment is just too much for anybody to bear, and it has debilitated
me. I feel like a walking corpse.

Ezzo should be in prison, and there should be a class action lawsuit filed against him for the untold damages done to countless families like ours.

bjw

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Heartbroken Dad,

I applaud you for having the courage to speak out against this cult, as I know from experience it is not easy to do.  Counseling cults do practice medicine without a license and like to hide behind religion status as a way to avoid malpractice liability.  I can only imagine the damage done to your daughter, I myself had to get help and many hours of therapy to repair the damage this cult did to my mind.

Make sure you keep speaking out and tell your story, as it may help many others not get taken in by this cult's lies.  To tell people baby crying is a sin issue, they are only crying to get attention and should be isolated from parents is downright criminal, and for them to even suggest this they deserve to be held liable.

watch-pray

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Heartbroken Dad,

It's not too late for God to heal your daughter and make her the woman He intended her to be. I can identify with her suffering and know from personal experience that God still heals those who are damaged and oppressed. If your daughter will only put her faith in Jesus Christ, God will make her a new creation as he did me:

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Cor. 5:17)

Also, you do not need to carry this horrible burden of pain and guilt. Jesus carried your sins and griefs on the Cross and he bids you to come to Him for forgiveness and peace of mind.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30)

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4-5)

"Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." (Ps. 55:22)

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Pet. 5:7)


"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37)

I can assure you from the promises in God's Word and my own experience that it's God's will to undo the damage that's been done to your daughter and to heal your family, if you will only look to Him. 
Heartbroken Dad

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Sorry, I am done with religion. It was because of religion that I followed Ezzo's "God's Plan For Parenting" that was promoted by a church I attended. Then the pastor became a cult leader and started telling people who to marry, where to live and work, how to dress, etc. When we left the church we got blacklisted as "backsliders".

But by all means, feel free to follow your religion. Just don't try to tell me that I should follow it, because I need it like a hole in the head. It has already brought too much destruction to my life. God is fine, religion is made by men to control people - period.

I have much more to say about this topic, but I don't want to shipwreck this thread with a silly debate about superstitions so I will leave it there. Please peddle your religion somewhere else. This thread is about a religious person who has destroyed thousands of lives and families. Please do not make it a debate about religions.
Heartbroken Dad

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I trust God, I just don't trust people who say they represent Him. That was the biggest mistake of my life.
Heartbroken Dad

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I apologize for my blunt reply, but I have PTSD from dealing with all of this and I get triggered when people try to steer me back to religion where all the damage occurred. I hope you understand.
watch-pray

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I do understand your anger. The damage done by Ezzo's books is tragic. Just know that this man is not a Christian and his books are not remotely Biblical but Satanic. Ezzo and the pastors who recommend him may claim to represent God but they are wolves in sheep's clothing from whom Jesus warned us to flee.

What passes for Christianity today is a false church controlled by agents of Satan posing as ministers of God. We have all been deceived and damaged by this counterfeit Christianity, but we can't blame God for Satan's evil work. I was only trying to convey to you that God is loving and kind and could heal your daughter.
Heartbroken Dad

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Amen. Thank you.
bjw

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I concur with watchpray that it is a satanic conspiracy with a mind control agenda.  Ezzo's works were part of the Nouthetic Counseling movement that is part of the mind control used by the Lordship Salvation movement as advocated by John MacArthur.  A study of the bigger picture will reveal they make slaves out of their followers and control as much of a person's time and money as they possibly can.  The counseling part plays a major role in how they take over the follower's life, and one reason they don't want you seeing a legitimate therapist while in the church is they know a therapist would recognize it.  

Much of the mental techniques they use are borrowed from L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics and Scientology.  For instance, Scientology teaches you isolate a person having a mental breakdown or crying baby, and the link in the other thread shows nouthetic author Jay Adams taught this as well.  Also, both believe you have a release by going over past problems.  This is a technique that was long ago abandoned by psychology called "regressive therapy."  I highly recommend reading the other thread on nouthetic counseling and seeing the wartburg watch link posted there.

Rest assured, MacArthur, Ezzo, and accomplices have nothing to do with God, they are only furthering the cause of Satan while living a life of luxury

Heartbroken Dad

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Thanks again. I appreciate all of your prayers and good wishes.
Heartbroken Dad

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I am not a religious person any longer but I believe in the power of positive energy. 

Ezzo has destroyed our quality of life, without a doubt.

If you do a Google search for "Ezzo attachment" you will discover thousands of parents just like me telling their stories of terror due to the attachment disorders that were caused in their children due to God-loving people following the Ezzo's Babywise and "God's Plan For Parenting" teachings.

The 20-minute "cry-it-out rule deprives the baby of learning how to comfort itself for life.

Here is how Ezzo sold this concept...

You don't want your child to grow up as a spoiled brat, thinking that the world revolves around them - right?

AMEN!!! (right?)

You don't want your child to think that everybody should drop what they are doing when he/she cries, right?

AMEN!!! (right?)

Sounds good on paper, right? Can I get a witness? (right?)

...but it is SO WRONG AND DESTRUCTIVE!!!   (right?)

 

Watch what monkeys do by nature... they spoil the infant/baby with love, affection, forgiveness, warmth, compassion, consolation, mentoring, encouraging, protecting, and nurturing until it is weened.

THIS IS WHAT FORMS A HEALTHY ATTACHMENT - just like a new plant attaches to the soil and gets the water, oxygen, and nutrients that it requires.

But, if you take away what that new life needs to form an attachment, all bets are off.   (right?)

Gary Ezzo is obviously a person who suffered from attachment disorder himself based on his actions.   (right?)

Unattached people tend to produce unattached offspring unless educated regarding attachment.  (right?)

Unattached people can produce attached offspring if even briefly educated on the topic. Fact.

So why are Ezzo's educational materials still on the market?

Hmmm.... maybe it's because he sues everybody for slander and libel that speaks out against his teachings?

Go figure.

 

 

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http://www.ezzo.info/York/lawsuitbackgrounder.htm

http://dallas.citymomsblog.com/my-biggest-parenting-regret-babywise/

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2011/03/07/wising-up-to-ezzo%E2%80%99s-on-becoming-babywise/

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/02/prweb102290.htm

http://www.mothering.com/forum/35-parenting/206745-how-discourage-ezzo-babywise.html

https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/tag/gary-and-anne-marie-ezzo/

http://unbecomingbabylies.blogspot.com/2013/06/lies-about-attachment-parenting.html

http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/tyler.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Becoming_Baby_Wise

 

"The Ezzos wrote that leaving the infant "crying for 15, 20, even 30 minutes is not going to hurt your baby physically or emotionally."[10] To counter the book's conclusions, Laura Bassi Zaff, PhD, an expert in childhood cognitive development, wrote that careful research has shown that leaving a baby crying may result in emotional harm, perhaps manifesting as "attachment disorder, or anxiety disorder, or crippling problems with self esteem and interpersonal relationships".[10]"


 

On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep is an infant management book written by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo in 1993.[1] Formerly published by Multnomah Books, Baby Wise is currently published by Parent-Wise Solutions; approximately 3 million copies have been sold[2] and it has been translated into 16 languages around the world.

Baby Wise presents an infant care program which the authors say will cause babies to sleep through the night beginning between seven and nine weeks of age. It emphasizes parental control of the infant's sleep, play and feeding schedule rather than allowing the baby to decide when to eat, play and sleep.

The Baby Wise program outlined in the book came under criticism from some pediatricians and parents who were concerned that an infant reared using the book's advice will be at higher risk of failure to thrivemalnutrition, and emotional disorders.[3][4][5][6]

 

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Baby Wise has been criticized by mainstream health care professionals for giving dangerously wrong information regarding infant growth, feeding, sleep and development. Critics include, for example, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, MD, FAAP, Professor Emeritus, Harvard Medical School, developer of the Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale;[3] and Arnold Tanis, MD, FAAP, Past President, Florida Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics.[5] The Baby Wise program has been associated with infantile failure to thrive,dehydrationmalnutrition, problems with milk supply in breastfeeding mothers, and involuntary early weaning.[6][18][19]

Ferber method founder Richard Ferber, MD, Director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston, concurs with Baby Wise regarding some of its sleep advice, but he warns against expecting too much. Baby Wise predicts that the 8-week-old child will be sleeping 7 to 8 hours in a row at night, and the 13-week-old child increasing the nighttime sleep period to as much as 11 hours. Ferber said, "Parents shouldn't expect babies to sleep that long that early, although a very few will on their own".[4] Ferber says that the book may frustrate parents of babies that are not sleeping so much; the parents may wonder what is wrong with the infant.[4] Ferber says that if a baby sleeps through the night, the parents may actually need to wake it for feeding.[4]

In 1998, "Dr. Bill" Sears, evangelical author, pediatrician, and clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of USC, best known as the foremost proponent of attachment parenting,[14] said of the Baby Wise book, "People began calling me about the stuff in this book several years ago, but I basically ignored it, thinking that it was so far out that it would just die out."[4] Sears regretted not speaking out earlier against Baby Wise. He said about the book that it was "probably the most dangerous program of teaching about babies and children that I have seen in my 25 years of being a pediatrician."[4]

After noticing the controversy surrounding the book and investigating complaints about the medical advice it gives to new parents,[20] Multnomah Books stopped publishing the text in September 2001.[21] They returned the book rights to GFI. Subsequent printings have been produced by Parent-Wise Solutions, an imprint formed by the Ezzos to publish their books.

Many of Ezzo's former Christian allies turned into detractors of Baby Wise. Others hold different positions. Evangelical Christian author James Dobson, founder of the Focus on the Family ministry, commented on the controversial book, saying "I've never attacked it, but I don't endorse it... I'm not out campaigning against the Ezzos; I'm just not their greatest fan."[15]

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This article first appeared in the News Watch column of the Christian Research Journal, volume 23, number 3 (2001). For further information or to subscribe to the Christian Research Journalgo to: http://www.equip.org

Two and one-half years ago the Christian Research Journal published an article outlining the cultlike characteristics of Gary Ezzo’s Growing Families International (GFI): Scripture twisting, authoritarianism, exclusivism, isolationism, and physical and emotional endangerment of children.1 The organization, established in 1987, reaches over 1,500,000 parents around the world through church-based Christian parenting programs such as Preparation for Parenting and Growing Kids God’s Way and secular materials such as the top-selling On Becoming Babywise.

In the past, Ezzo has denied the validity of our concerns as well as similar issues raised by others, including Focus on the Family and John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church. He credits such concerns to bias or misperception2 — a point addressed in a follow-up Journal article on GFI.3

In the past year, however, Ezzo has faced new challenges. Several former supporters of his ministry have broken off their ties with him, citing character-related concerns.

Ezzo Excommunicated, Declared Unfit for Public Ministry. On 30 April 2000 Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship (LHEF), a church Ezzo had been a member of for years and that had previously stood by him,4 excommunicated Ezzo. The elders’ statement asserts that Ezzo had a “pattern of sin,” making excommunication necessary:

When it comes to himself and other matters that reflect upon the question of his integrity, there is a pattern in Gary of struggling with the truth. Rather than waiting on God’s provision, when confronted in his sins Gary readily sets aside integrity and seeks to protect himself by a rejection of the very spiritual authority God placed over him for his own spiritual welfare. Furthermore, by the fruits of his life, especially his words, Gary has manifested a lack of Christian character essential to leadership in the church.5

The statement adds, “As Gary’s elders we believe he is biblically disqualified from all public ministry.” Ezzo left the church several weeks before the excommunication was finalized.6

In a public response to LHEF, Ezzo states that “while at Living Hope, no accusation of wrongdoing or suggestion of misconduct was ever presented to us in writing, in person, by email, or phone, let alone the commencing of a church discipline process.”7 He says that LHEF brought forward charges against him only after he voiced concerns with them and “quietly” left the church.8 Ezzo’s comments contradict those of his former elders, who state that they confronted Ezzo with his sins, pleaded with him to repent, and excommunicated him on the “basis of facts established by biblical process.”9

Ezzo points to two committees he commissioned to look into the charges. Both committees “continue to affirm” Gary Ezzo, his wife Anne Marie, and their ministry. One committee is made up of GFI Regional Representatives and the other one Ezzo says is “independent of GFI organizationally,” but he has not named its members.10

Ezzo’s current pastor, Ron Seidel of Granada Hills Community Church, has also dismissed LHEF’s charges against Ezzo.11 He and the two committees Ezzo commissioned expressed frustration at LHEF’s unwillingness to meet with them to discuss Ezzo’s situation.12

Key Ezzo Staff Members Leave. Soon after Ezzo’s excommunication, several of his key staff members and associates resigned their positions. Not all would comment publicly on their reasons; those who did communicate with the Journal indicated that concerns about Ezzo played a role. Bob Gaby, a nine-year board member for Ezzo’s nonprofit organizations, resigned as Chairman of the Board of Christian Family Heritage (CFH) on 16 August 2000. Gaby expressed concern over Ezzo’s public response to the actions of LHEF, where Gaby is a member.13 Two days after Gaby’s resignation, CFH board secretary Sharon Nelson, a medical doctor who has endorsed Ezzo’s books, resigned.14 Laurie Moody, a visible GFI “contact mom,” resigned the same week, saying that Ezzo’s response to LHEF played a role in her decision.15

Two high-profile GFI employees resigned without public comment: Mark Severance, a frequent GFI spokesman and assistant to Ezzo,16 and Paul Luedke, Ezzo’s son-in-law, who had been at GFI for five years.17

MacArthur: Ezzo’s Problems Represent a Pattern. LHEF was not the first church to raise concerns about Ezzo’s character. John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church (Grace), where Ezzo had served as pastor of family ministries and developed his parenting programs, publicly rebuked him in October of 1997 for lacking accountability and truthfulness,18 the same issues raised by Living Hope.

On 25 July 2000, after LHEF excommunicated Ezzo, John MacArthur issued a new statement: “This has clearly become a pattern of behavior with Mr. Ezzo….It appears rather obvious on biblical grounds that Mr. Ezzo’s refusal to heed his own church’s discipline disqualifies him from Christian leadership or public ministry in any context. After all, the first and most important qualification for those who would lead the church is that they be above reproach.”19

The church that Ezzo had been a part of before coming to Grace had also raised concerns about him, asking him to resign his positions due to his “authoritarianism, exclusivism, and division.”20

bjw

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Reply with quote  #20 
Wow, I was at GCC when this happened, but for some reason I can't remember it. I was not going to daytime services though as I was going to one of MacArthur's church plants with an exec during the morning services, so I was only at GCC for the evenings. I vaguely remember one person saying to his friends that Macarthur shouldn't have the right to fire people for petty disagreements, I asked who they were talking about and myself and the person who made the statement were told it was none of our business and we did not have the authority to ask. I reiterated I just wanted to know who was fired and was told it's none of your business again. That conversation took place in a car while carpooling to church with wow staff members. I wonder if that could have been Ezzo they were talking about.

Ezzo must have really disagreed with MacArthur or made him look bad to get fired. As unethical as they are, it had to besomething to hurt MacArthur's reputation, as they do unethical things all the time there under the organization's orders and people are never punished for them. I just wonder what happened, maybe MacArthur saw Ezzo getting too many followers as a potential threat to his authority and empire.
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I'm glad you included some research on the babywise tripe here on the site, as aspects of nouthetic counseling do not usually have the chance to be critiqued by legitimate psychologists.  The problem with convincing any believers in Lordship Salvation of the validity of this research is they believe accepting the word of a psychologist is the equivalent of adding to scripture.  (see article at gracechurch.org called "Sufficiency of Scripture")  They have been convinced all mental illness is a sin issue, and that they don't really exist.  I believe Jay Adams even said once that schizophrenia is just people seeking attention and they need to be left alone for awhile.  This is what makes these people so dangerous, and is also why two people have commited suicide while doing GCC'S counseling program.

Even though Ezzo is gone from GCC, I can imagine they still do things like this to babies, since they reject any mainstream research irrationally as anti-Christian.  It doesn't stop with psychology, for instance, I had the flu real bad and had to stay in bed three days once.  I was told by fellow students who came to see me that I was being sinful, selfish, that the Bible said I should beat my body and make it do what I want it to do, I didn't need to take medication, wasn't trusting God, etc.  I finally had to complain to student life about the harassment, and told them I wouldn't get well if they didn't let me rest.

Anyhow, if anyone is on the fence and is considering this babywise program, and they stumble onto this site, hopefully it will encourage them to research this whole thing further before getting involved or using these false ideas.  You may save lives by what you have posted on here.  Things you have mentioned like attachment disorder, bpd, ptsd, etc are real disorders and have been proven as such by the medical profession.  Most Christians who have not fallen prey to Lordship Salvation do believe God can even use doctors to heal people and there is nothing wrong with using the research of secular medicine as a way to get better.  However, the sad part of this is this movement will eventually stereotype all Christians as being like MacArthur and Ezzo, and that is a scary thought.

watch-pray

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The following are excerpts from Gary Ezzo’s book, On Becoming Baby Wise, specifically, Chapter 7, “Crying It Out” and Chapter 9, “Bonding With Your Baby.”  The footnotes in these chapters demonstrate that Ezzo did not derive his theories of child care from the Word of God or even from accepted practices of child care but from the perverted liberal views of New Age radical feminists and gay-rights activists.

Please note the color-code I've used below. The text of Babywise is in black print, Ezzo's sources are in bold black, information about the sources in blue and my comments are in green. 

On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

CHAPTER 7: WHEN YOUR BABY CRIES

CRYING IT OUT

“Be aware that attempts to minimize or ‘block’ all crying can easily increase your baby’s stress (and yours) rather than decrease it. Tears shed from crying help to eliminate chemically activated stress hormones from the body...

“Some interesting research demonstrated that infants who were allowed to cry during the normal times in infancy were vigorous and active problem solvers at one year of age. When presented with obstacles separating them from their parents, they found a way to maneuver around the barriers to get back to Mom or Dad. They were neither stressed nor frightened. In contrast, the babies whose parents routinely suppressed their cries could not overcome the simplest obstacles separating them from their parents. They tended to sit, whimper and wait to be rescued. They lost all sense of initiative to help themselves. (2)

“What might this prove? When crying is suppressed, rather than managing the moment according to the need, infants learn to rely on crying for all their problem solving. When parents block their baby’s every cry rather than manage it according to the baby’s need, they are inadvertently closing off in their baby’s mind other vital associations. For example, infants learn very quickly that an action is usually followed by a predictable response. If Baby is hungry and cries, feeding usually follows. If he soils his diaper, changing takes place. If he is startled, he is comforted. If placed in his crib, he learns that sleep comes next. Such learning association provides the building blocks for complex skills, including soothing oneself and problem solving. When parents attempt to suppress all crying, they deny their baby access to the learning patterns that come with association.”

2.   Study cited by Mary Howell, M.D. in baby! Vol. 2 No.2. The Healthy Baby 1987, p. 27.

What study? Who is Mary Howell, M.D.? Where is this source found? Ezzo gives no information about this woman. However, Dr. Mary C. Howell (1932-1998) was the first female Associate Dean at Harvard Medical School, a pioneer in the sruggle for women's liberation and a contributor to feminist publications such as Our Bodies, Ourselves (1978) which advocated for women in the work place, abortion, lesbianism, transgenderism, etc.

“Crying During the Late-Afternoon/Early-Evening Period.”

“Most babies have a ‘personal fussy time,’ especially in the late afternoon. That is true of both bottle and breastfed infants, and you are in good company: literally millions of mothers and fathers are going through the same thing at nearly the same time as you each day.

“If your fussy baby is not comforted by the baby swing, an infant seat, siblings or Grandma, consider the crib. At least there he has the chance of falling asleep and putting everyone out of this temporary misery.”

Why not comfort the baby yourself, Mom???

Source: On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep (Kindle Locations 2585-2587; 4494-4495).

CHAPTER 9: BONDING WITH YOUR BABY

“The term, ‘bonding,’ evolved from a controversial theory in the 1980s relating to mothers and their babies into common usage today to describe two people emotionally connecting. The original theory postulated that a sensitive period exists for the mother soon after birth when she must make eye-to-eye and skin-to-skin contact with her baby for a long-term maternal connection to truly take place. Most couples assume this bonding is for the baby’s benefit, but the theory focuses on the mom, suggesting that if she fails to make an immediate connection right after birth, she is more likely to reject her baby passively by withholding love and nurturing. Before worrying about the poor mom who does not have the chance to hold her baby immediately after delivery, be aware that research has not substantiated the cause-and-effect relationship this theory speaks of. Although some animals show instinctive tendencies of this sort, speculating that rational beings respond similarly is scientifically unacceptable. Anthropology, the study of humankind, is very different from zoology, the study of animals. (1)

“The shortsightedness of the bonding theory, however, should not take away from the beautiful moment right after birth when Mom, Dad and Baby meet for the first time. There should be plenty of touch, tears, photos, and soft words of affection. If Mom and Baby are temporarily separated at birth, her love as a mother will not diminish, nor will her child move through life permanently impaired because of a bonding deficit created in the first few hours or even days after birth. (2)” (On Becoming Babywise, p. 192-193)

Endnotes

1.   Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., from the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Utah Medical School, summarizes our position:

“The preponderance of the evidence thus suggests that extended contact [the bonding theory] has no clear effects on maternal behavior.” Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., in Pediatrics, 70, no. 5 (November 1982), p. 768.

2.   For an excellent challenge to the myth of bonding, please see Diane Eyer, Mother Infant-Bonding: Scientific Fiction, (New Haven: Yale University Press. 1992). (Ibid. p. 218)

MICHAEL E. LAMB

1.   Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., from the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Utah Medical School, summarizes our position:

“‘The preponderance of the evidence thus suggests that extended contact [the bonding theory] has no clear effects on maternal behavior.’ Michael E. Lamb, Ph.D., in Pediatrics, 70, no. 5 (November 1982), p. 768.”

Source: Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam MD, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep, 2012, p. 218.

Michael E. Lamb teaches psychology, psychiatry and PEDIATRICS at a MORMON university...

Professor of Psychology, Psychiatry, and Pediatrics, University of Utah: 7/1/80 to 6/30/87

University of Utah (Mormon)

Founder, Brigham Young, President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) from 1847-1877.

“The university was established in 1850 as the University of Deseret...by the General Assembly of the provisional State of Deseret,[1] making it Utah's oldest institution of higher education.[5] It received its current name in 1892, four years before Utah attained statehood, and moved to its current location in 1900.[1]

“A Board of Regents was organized by Brigham Young to establish a university in the Salt Lake Valley…

“Due to the large number of LDS Church members at the university, there is an LDS Institute of Religion building directly on campus, as well as several LDS student groups and 46 campus wards.” (‘Institute of Religion – University of Utah’. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved May 27, 2009.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_utah

Michael E. Lamb is also a member of the ACLU, NOW and a "committed liberal" who was a major player in defeating California's Proposition 8 (against same-sex marriage) stating that children do not require a male and female parent.

Proposition 8 in California

“In 2010 Michael Lamb was to testify in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger trial which challenged California Proposition 8 as being unconstitutional. Lamb testified that children do not require a male and a female parent to have a stable and healthy life growing up. Lamb stressed that childhood adjustment relied more on the relationships between the parents and the relationships the child has with their parents. While under question by lawyer David H. Thompson, who worked for the Proposition 8 campaign, Lamb had to admit that he was a member of the ACLU, the National Organization for Women, the NAACP, Amnesty International and the Nature Conservancy. Thompson called Lamb a ‘committed liberal.’

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Lamb_(psychologist)

Gays make fine parents, psychologist testifies

Bob Egelko, San Francisco Chronicle Staff Writer

January 16, 2010

“A psychologist took aim at one of the central justifications for California's ban on same-sex marriage in federal court Friday, saying researchers overwhelmingly agree that gays and lesbians make just as good parents as heterosexuals.

“More than 100 studies have found that ‘children who are raised by gay and lesbian parents are just as likely to be well-adjusted,’ Michael Lamb, chairman of the department of social and developmental psychology at Cambridge University in England, testified at the San Francisco trial of a lawsuit seeking to overturn Proposition 8.  Lamb quoted the American Psychological Association’s 2004 policy statement that gays and lesbians are ‘as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children.’”

http://www.sfgate.com/nation/article/Gays-make-fine-parents-psychologist-testifies-3275685.php

Next radical liberal source cited by Ezzo says the importance of mother-infant bonding is a myth and science fiction...

“2.   For an excellent challenge to the myth of bonding, please see Diane Eyer, Mother Infant-Bonding: Scientific Fiction, (New Haven: Yale University Press. 1992).”

Source: Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam MD, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep, 2012, p. 218.

DIANE E. EYER

Mother-Infant Bonding: A Scientific Fiction

“MOVE OVER HILARY: WORKING MOTHERS HAVE A NEW HEROINE. SHE’S DIANE E. EYER, WHOSE LUCID AND DISPASSIONATE ANALYSIS OF THE BONDING MYSTIQUE…PUNCTURES A HYPERINFLATED THEORY.” (Book cover)

“This book is an analysis of how one popular scientific idea, mother-infant bonding (although poorly constructed) was readily embraced as an appealing solution to some rather complex problems of hospital childbirth and postnatal care… The research on bonding was inspired by the popular belief that women, one and all, are inherently suited for motherhood. This belief coincided with a number of institutional goals, including the needs of the psychological and medical professions, especially obstetrics, to secure women and infants as patients and to find pathology in this clientele, which they could then treat…” (p. 1)

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/05/02/books/it-doesn-t-come-naturally.html 

Diane Eyer, Ph. D. is a New Age Reiki Master, i.e., an occultist who channels evil spirits to heal people...

Dr. Diane Eyer is an Energy Therapist and Healer working with Higher Guidance that is steeped in love and wisdom. She is an advisor who works to dissolve what does not serve you, clearing emotional blocks that may also affect physical health. She helps you to gain fresh perspectives so you can make new choices. Her work also helps you to form a deeper connection to God/Divine Spirit and live a life consistent with your truest self.

http://www.energytherapisteyer.com/

Diane E. Eyer is also the author of Motherguilt: How Our Culture Blames Mothers for What's Wrong with Society...

“Mothers—working, welfare, single, teen, or any combination thereof—get most of the blame for imperfect children and unraveling families. This firebrand book dismantles the bias of social scientists, parenting experts, and the media who blame today’s mothers for all of society’s problems caused by our disintegrating families, naming instead the true culprit: America’s abysmal child-care system.”

http://www.amazon.com/Motherguilt-Culture-Blames-Mothers-Society/dp/0812924169

If Christian parents would investigate Gary Ezzo’s sources they would realize that his theories of parenting are not derived from the Word of God but from New Age, radical feminists and same-sex marriage advocates—liberal activists with a hidden agenda to destroy the family.  

Babywise is NOT God's Way to raise children but SATAN'S Way to destroy them!

bjw

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Reply with quote  #23 
Here is another example that begs the question:  if they have the best Bible scholars in the world why do they need new agers or heretics to use as sources?  Why not use these scholars if they are the best?  This is the same issue that came up in the thread on Emergent Movement and Slave book.  As said before, Nouthetic Counseling in general has this problem as it borrows from psychology and counseling cults like Scientology.

From reading one of the links Heartbroken Dad posted, it appears the methods of Ezzo are an outgrowth of John Calvin's "Total Depravity" doctrine.  This doctrine is based on a misunderstanding of various passages in the book of Romans, and says all men are born with a disposition to do evil.  One preacher in one of the above links said God made babies small so they can't come kill you in your sleep.  This belief assumes babies are born only wanting to do evil, and need their will broken by their parents.
 
If you read watchmanwakes site on Calvin you will see he was a murderer, dictator, and child abuser.  He once whipped a kid in the town square for laughing in church if I remember the article right.  Serial killers often have a mindset where they feel they have a divine mandate to do what they do, and the Tulip doctrines are a good reflection of this, as each point of the Tulip offered Calvin a way to reconcile his abusive behavior in his mind, and absolve himself of a guilty conscience.  Apparently, total depravity is a doctrine still being used today by child abusers as a way to excuse their behavior.

In the links it seems Ezzo and his colleagues consider children downright evil from birth.  So, crying is just another manifestation of sin and the kid wanting attention.  The blanket training technique where you place a kid on a blanket, set a timer, and spank the kid for getting off the blanket, then doing that over and over, seems downright criminal and is abuse.  Parents should not have to create situations to spank children for.  This alone should be enough to ban these materials

Combining reformed theology, new age movement, liberalism, and counseling cults into a child rearing program is definitely a dangerous combination

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Reply with quote  #24 
I'm, surprised somebody hasn't gone postal on this guy for all of the horrific damage he has done to children and families. He is still hawking his wares online and living on the oceanfront in a luxurious home while his victims face a living hell every day.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartbroken Dad
I'm, surprised somebody hasn't gone postal on this guy for all of the horrific damage he has done to children and families. He is still hawking his wares online and living on the oceanfront in a luxurious home while his victims face a living hell every day.
MacArthur lives in a mansion as well, while followers are expected to give til it hurts and pay for expensive books and courses. These guys need to be exposed, the trouble is many will not believe it or listen, or will somehow rationalize it. I met a guy while I was still in who gave up everything he had and became homeless so he could get a theology degree and live in his van while traveling the country preaching the "gospel." Many barely make it from payday to payday that support these guys, and absorb much abuse applying these doctrines to their lives. It makes it that much more important for us to speak the truth.
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Gary Ezzo does not act alone but is the front man for a hidden agenda to destroy Christian families. The Preparation for Parenting program, Babywise series and Growing Families International were launched under the auspices of John MacArthur and are successful because they were financed and promoted globally by MacArthur from 1985 to 1993. They may still be, since MacArthur never repudiated the abusive child-rearing teachings therein. Although the controversy over Babywise forced Ezzo to resign from the staff of Grace Community Church in 1993, he was allowed to serve as a church elder until 1995 and did not leave GCC until 1996. Only after Christianity Today published a critique of Ezzo's program ("Brave New Baby") and the public outcry escalated, was John MacArthur forced to address the issue publicly. His statements in 1997 and 2000, however, dealt merely with Ezzo's integrity and accountability to church leadership and made only a vague reference the "extra-biblical content of GFI materials." Never did MacArthur or his church criticize or expose the parental neglect of infants' needs fostered by Ezzo's teachings or the lifelong mental disorders caused by detachment parenting. The following expose documents John MacArthur's complicity in this child-abuse program:

"Gary Ezzo held the position of 'Pastor, Family Ministries' at Grace Community Church from early-1985 until mid-1993, and taught the 'young families and single parents' Sunday School class ('Joint Heirs'). (Ezzo also heads up 'Growing Families International,' a Chatsworth, California-based firm, founded by Ezzo in 1989, that distributes the materials of Gary and his wife, Anne Marie Ezzo.) Despite no longer being on the Grace Church staff, Ezzo remained a 'lay elder' at Grace Church until July of 1995, and as of November of 1995, the church was still teaching his materials in church classes and selling his materials in its bookstore (11/19/95, Grace Today). In June of 1996, the Ezzos resigned their membership at Grace Church...

"...It is not clear whether MacArthur's tape ministry still distributes the 1985 four-part video series, How To Raise Your Family: Biblical Essentials for No-Regret Parenting, a series featuring John MacArthur and Gary Ezzo. [At our most recent visit to the Grace Church Book Shack (7/25/93), this video series could not be found. However, the same series was available on four audio cassettes (GTY34-37) through the 1993 'Grace to You Catalog.']...

"Psychological materials by Ezzo that were available in the Book Shack (as of 11/19/95) were... Preparation for Parenting (loose-leaf notebook); The Bible and Common Sense Parenting (booklet); and Growing Kids God's Way (19-message audio cassette series and workbook). Moreover (and contrary to the rumor at the time that 'Ezzo is on his way out'), Ezzo's highly psychological 'Growing Kids God's Way' (GKGW) classes were scheduled to be taught again at Grace Church in the fall of 1993 (as advertised in the 7/25/93 Grace Today, p. 3).

"...Ezzo has run into problems with some in the medical profession concerning his Preparation for Parenting series -- 'Some physicians and nurses are concerned that the rigidity of the feeding program the Ezzo's advocate may put some newborn infants at risk of inadequate weight gain, especially in the first weeks after birth' (8/16/93, Christianity Today, 'The Brave New Baby,' p. 34). This 'program' (six/60-minute videos or 7-message/4-tape audio cassette series, and a student workbook), was created in 1987 under the auspices of MacArthur's Grace Community Church, and is now in its fifth edition, being used in about 3,500 churches is the U.S. The Ezzos claim that about 600,000 parents have gone through Preparation for Parenting; and that all their materials in total are being used by one million parents in some 95 countries throughout the world. Strange in all this is John MacArthur's response to Christianity Today's editors when asked his opinion of Preparation for Parenting -- 'no comment.'

"[Ezzo/MacArthur Update: On 8/15/96, BDM received an e-mail from John MacArthur's daughter, Melinda (with a 'Grace To You' e-mail address), stating that 'Gary Ezzo and John MacArthur are not associated in any way ... John does not agree at all with his [Ezzo's] methods.' She provided no specifics as to when or why this separation occurred, nor what steps John MacArthur had taken to publicly advise his and Ezzo's supporters of the decision. A friend of BDM called the Grace Church Book Shack on 8/16/96 and asked if the bookstore still offered any Ezzo materials. The employee said they did not, but eagerly volunteered the toll free number of Ezzo's Growing Families International in case the caller wanted to place an order! (Does this sound like a 'disagreement with Ezzo's methods'? Is it not appalling that there was such a lack of concern -- or just plain incompetent leadership -- for the spiritual well-being of those wanting to purchase Ezzo's materials that there was no communication with bookstore employees concerning the Church's policy?) A few days later, a designated spokesperson of Grace To You e-mailed me on the Ezzo matter, but refused to answer any of the above questions.

"John MacArthur's Grace Community Church Board of Elders finally published a statement (dated 10/16/97) detailing the reasons for their mid-1996 split with Gary Ezzo. The four areas of 'more serious concerns' to the elders were: (1) Throughout GFI's material there is a blurring of the line between that which is truly biblical, and simple matters of preference; (2) GFI materials tend to be unclear on certain fundamental doctrinal issues -- particularly the issues of original sin and human depravity; (3) The GFI curriculum gives insufficient attention to the child's need for regeneration; and (4) There is a tendency on the part of some GFI-trained parents to isolate their children from others not involved in the program.... [In...an 11/97 statement posted to the GFI website by Gary Ezzo, Ezzo provided evidence that MacArthur (in a letter from MacArthur to Ezzo dated 7/18/95) did not question his (Ezzo's) theology -- in MacArthur's own words: '... in my mind we're not dealing with issues of foundational doctrine. I don't question your theology.']

"At the end of the GCC Elders' statement, the elders profess their desire to handle things 'privately,' but that it was now 'profoundly unfortunate' to have to issue a public statement. But Ezzo's teachings were not private sins, requiring private consultation. His teachings were not only public, they were publicly endorsed and supported by Grace Church and John MacArthur for over ten years! It is 'profoundly unfortunate' that a public statement was withheld for over two years after Ezzo's resignation from the elder board. In my opinion, it all goes back to MacArthur's incompetent leadership, which manifests itself in his reluctance to expose and expel grossly unbiblical individuals such as Ezzo.

"In March of 1998, Grace Church and Gary Ezzo made a truce of sorts. In exchange for Ezzo removing his detailed response from the GFI website, Grace Church withdrew its 10/97 Statement and replaced it with a new statement (sans the Ezzo character assassination and much of the detail of the 10/97 statement). The new GCC Elders' Board Statement (dated 3/21/98) is very brief (only four short paragraphs totaling about 175 words), and covers only three areas of disagreement with Ezzo's teachings (infant feeding methods, insufficient evidence on the doctrine of depravity, and GFI-parent group isolationism); again, Ezzo's psychoheretical teachings are not mentioned as an area that concerns the GCC elders.]"

Source: John Macarthur-Teachings/Acitivities

Thirty years after Ezzo's Preparation for Parenting was launched by John MacArthur, the tragic outcome is observable as victimized families publish their testimonies.  Many Christians have also reported that John MacArthur's Grace Community Church and The Master's College operate like an abusive cult, as documented by Watchman Wakes and the Cult Education Forum.  See also Abuse & Deaths at The Master's College and Camp Regeneration Mind Control for evidence of GCC's abuse and mind control of Christian youth. Considering the evidence, it seems not unreasonable to suspect that John MacArthur is helping along the Masonic agenda of destroying Christianity via the destruction of Christian families.

See: John MacArthur & Freemasonry
bjw

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It appears they may have thrown Ezzo under the bus to protect MacArthur, Ezzo probably sacrificed his own reputation here to protect the integrity of lordship teachings.
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In my comment above I cited an expose of Gary Ezzo which documented John MacArthur's oversight of the Babywise program.  Biblical Discernment Ministries does well to expose Gary Ezzo and his accomplice in this criminal project, John MacArthur. However, they also condemn any and all psychological means families might need to help their neurologically impaired children recover or at least improve. In a previous post Heartbroken Dad wrote of his daughter's personality disorder (reactive attachment disorder) which is an irreversible brain dysfunction resulting from emotional deprivation during infancy:

"She gets so filled with fear and panic and unable to comfort herself that she goes into panic attacks and grand mal seizures. It is so unbearable. I wish I could just hug her and teach her how to receive comfort, but it's too late. I cannot turn back time. The time for that brain development process was during the window of 0-36 months. The Ezzo's 20-minute-rule deprived her of learning how to do it.  Reactive Attachment Disordered kids become adults with Borderline Personality Disorder."

People who suffer from personality disorders often have impaired brain function through no fault or sin of their own. Premature birth, chemical imbalances, parental abuse or neglect in infancy may cause brain dysfunction which could be ameliorated to some degree with therapy and/or proper medication. Yet John MacArthur, Biblical Discernment Ministries and Psychoheresy issue a blanket condemnation of all psychiatry and psychotherapy as unbiblical and evil.  They assume that in all disorders the root cause is sin. John MacArthur therefore recommends Nouthetic Counseling which uses Scripture to seek out secret sin, assign blame and require repentance, even though sin may not be the problem. 

I should add that Biblical Discernment Ministries has an excellent paper by Miles Stanford which explains why Nouthetic Counseling is unscriptural and ineffective:

http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/exposes/macarthur/counseli.htm

Miles Stanford basically wrote that, in the main, Christian counseling is law-bound (Lordship salvation) rather than Christ-centered, that is, ministering the truth of the believer's exalted position in Christ. Unfortunately, Miles Stanford's papers and books have been removed from the internet.

Contrary to Miles Stanford's teaching, in their exposure of the false gospel of "self-esteem," BDM goes to the other extreme of devaluing Christians as worthless sinners rather than viewing them as precious saints in Christ. The same low view of Christians is conveyed by John MacArthur in his heretical book Slave: The Hidden Truth About Your Identity in Christ.

In contrast, the New Testament epistles address the Christian churches as "beloved of God, called to be saints" (Rom. 1:7) and "God's elect" (Titus 1:1) and are generous with praise and encouragement, such as the author of Hebrews wrote to erring believers: "But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak." (Heb. 6:9)

To hinder psychotherapy and medical treatment can be dangerous, as it was with Angelica Ericsson and Ken Nally, severely disturbed students at TMC who committed suicide.  In cases of neurological illness a brain scan can diagnose clinical depression or neurological disorder and the proper medication can literally save a mentally ill person's life. In some cases, if medication is not administered, brain damage can ensue and be permanent.

Not that drugs and therapy are the solution but a start to halt or repair brain dysfunction. And there are some New Age therapies which should be assiduously avoided, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a popular treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. DBT is rooted in Eastern paganism, predominantly Zen Buddhism.

For the Christian much more than medication and therapy is available for a sound mind. Christians need to know who they are in Christ and reckon on that fact when they are under self-condemnation or condemnation by self-appointed Nouthetic counselors who heap guilt on them.

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death." (Rom. 8:1)

If pastors were preaching Jesus Christ today, and the New Testament gospel of grace and truth instead of Old Testament law and works, more Christians would be set free from the bondage of the flesh and walk in liberty of the Holy Spirit.

"Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."  (Gal. 5:1)

"Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2Cor 3:17-18)

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Reply with quote  #29 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartbroken Dad
Sorry, I am done with religion. It was because of religion that I followed Ezzo's "God's Plan For Parenting" that was promoted by a church I attended. Then the pastor became a cult leader and started telling people who to marry, where to live and work, how to dress, etc. When we left the church we got blacklisted as "backsliders".

But by all means, feel free to follow your religion. Just don't try to tell me that I should follow it, because I need it like a hole in the head. It has already brought too much destruction to my life. God is fine, religion is made by men to control people - period.

I have much more to say about this topic, but I don't want to shipwreck this thread with a silly debate about superstitions so I will leave it there. Please peddle your religion somewhere else. This thread is about a religious person who has destroyed thousands of lives and families. Please do not make it a debate about religions.


I appreciated your honesty, HD. I am so sorry for what you and your family have been through and your beautiful daughter. Yes, these groups teach hateful practices that have done an incredible amount of damage to families, relationships, peoples' minds, their relationship with God.

There is a rising population of The Dones, believers who are fed up with the problems of the institutional church and refuse to go back.
devastated mom

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Reply with quote  #30 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartbroken Dad

Do you know what it's like to want to hug your daughter, but she recoils
like it is painful if you attempt it?

Do you know what it is like to have never been able to comfort your daughter
when she is having a panic attack?

Do you know what it is like to know that you caused your daughter to never
be able to be comforted because you deprived her of comfort as a baby when
she cried?

Do you know what it is like to deal with a 20-year-old daughter who is so
unable to comfort herself that she has to sleep with the lights on with the
dog in her bed?

Do you know what it is like to have a daughter that you love very deeply be
unable to reciprocate that love?

Do you know what it is like to live with a daughter who got stuck
emotionally at the age of two when it comes to dealing with even the
slightest stresses?

I do, and I live through these nightmares day after day due to the Ezzo
Parenting program.

She gets so filled with fear and panic and unable to comfort herself that
she goes into panic attacks and grand mal seizures.

It is so unbearable. I wish I could just hug her and teach her how to
receive comfort, but it's too late. I cannot turn back time. The time for
that brain development process was during the window of 0-36 months.
The Ezzo's 20-minute-rule deprived her of learning how to do it.

Reactive Attachment Disordered kids become adults with Borderline
Personality Disorder.

This punishment is just too much for anybody to bear, and it has debilitated
me. I feel like a walking corpse.

Ezzo should be in prison, and there should be a class action lawsuit filed against him for the untold damages done to countless families like ours.

devastated mom

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Reply with quote  #31 
Heartbroken Dad- I can relate to your anguish. My 22 year old daughter and the oldest of my 3 children is in a residential treatment facility right now as the result of a planned suicide attempt. She suffers from depression, mood dysregulation, and severe anxiety. I've watched her spiral downward for the past several years and I am convinced this was brought on, at least in part, by my rigid Growing Kids God's Way parenting style. As a baby, she had reflux and could not keep her food down. I remember consulting with my GKGW coaches because she would just cry and cry and cry. I was told as long as she was gaining weight she was getting what she needed and to let her "cry it out". I did. Looking back, I am horrified. She was HUNGRY!!! To this day she struggles with her weight and I believe it's because I was, in a sense, starving her. She also has trouble maintaining friendships with women, has severe social anxieties, poor self esteem, and has entered into a pattern of dysfunctional relationships with men. I also used the parent controlled feeding method with my middle son and he has some issues as well. I was WAY more relaxed with my youngest son and is a very well-adjusted happy child. I thought I was being a good parent. I am heart-broken :(
watchmanwakes

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Reply with quote  #32 
Devastated Mom,

You were doing what you thought was best.  My heart goes out to you.  As you know many mothers have had a similar experience with the Ezzo method.  Jesus Christ can restore your daughter's peace and joy.  Is she reading God's word and praying? 
watch-pray

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Reply with quote  #33 
Quote:
Originally Posted by devastated mom
Heartbroken Dad- I can relate to your anguish. My 22 year old daughter and the oldest of my 3 children is in a residential treatment facility right now as the result of a planned suicide attempt. She suffers from depression, mood dysregulation, and severe anxiety. I've watched her spiral downward for the past several years and I am convinced this was brought on, at least in part, by my rigid Growing Kids God's Way parenting style. As a baby, she had reflux and could not keep her food down. I remember consulting with my GKGW coaches because she would just cry and cry and cry. I was told as long as she was gaining weight she was getting what she needed and to let her "cry it out". I did. Looking back, I am horrified. She was HUNGRY!!! To this day she struggles with her weight and I believe it's because I was, in a sense, starving her. She also has trouble maintaining friendships with women, has severe social anxieties, poor self esteem, and has entered into a pattern of dysfunctional relationships with men. I also used the parent controlled feeding method with my middle son and he has some issues as well. I was WAY more relaxed with my youngest son and is a very well-adjusted happy child. I thought I was being a good parent. I am heart-broken :(
watch-pray

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Reply with quote  #34 
Devastated Mom, I totally understand your heartbreak over your daughter. I have family members who used GKGW with their firstborn who is now two years old and exhibiting symptoms of Autism. I tried to warn the parents early on but they were sold on GKGW and would not listen. They now have a very stressful toddler who is antisocial and emotionally volatile. The parents seem to be changing their rigid parenting method, but a lot of damage has already been done; so I am praying the Lord will heal whatever neurological and emotional damage there may be. I will also be praying for your daughter as well as all of the victims of Gary Ezzo's abusive parenting program. It is tragic how many children whose lives have been ruined, but we also have a great and loving God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  Lord Jesus, please give us grace to see beyond the tragedy of these precious young lives and believe your promises for these children who are wounded and broken.


Isaiah 61
1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. 

Luke 4:18-19 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord. 

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